Does the blog need to be renamed?

So, this blog was started however many years ago, when I was reveling in the fact that I no longer worked in a cubicle and I could celebrate my hobbies; hence, "Regaining Brain Cells."

I got a 9-5 job. First day is tomorrow. And sure, I won't be in a cubicle, but an office, which really, is kind of like "The King's New Clothes" version of office-life awesomeness. Anyhow, I'm going in with a good attitude because I realize that in true Jaime-fashion, I am sincerely apathetic. I'm not nervous, I'm not excited, it's just something I have to do tomorrow. I don't really know what this job will hold, and frankly, I'm OK with that because after much soul searching during the past couple years, I've realized that I have no career goals. What I want to do with my life is be a mom. And I am a mom. And that makes me happy. I don't want 15 kids, or even 2 kids. I have 1 kid and that is perfect for me. I get to experience all the joys, annoyances, dramas, and bliss that comes with motherhood and that makes me happy. Being a mom is my career, and I like it.

I have no regrets about quitting a job that I hated to raise my daughter. The past five and half years were amazingly wonderful and brutally frustrating and exactly what I wanted. I still want it, I just have to make money. Unfortunately, motherhood has no salary, but fortunately, mucho benefits, which I will still reap.

Back to the title of the blog, I think I'll change it to "Maintaining Brain Cells" because, as most are, I am optimistic at the start of my new job venture. I have confidence that I will not let this job define me, or break me, torment me, or make me lose brain cells. Hell! I've working at pharmacy part-time for five years, true, it was only part time, but I didn't feel worthless or undervalued because I got what I want, need, and crave from my family. I hope that I can maintain this attitude with my new job.

Things I've Made but Haven't Taken Pictures of

I made this infinity scarf. I love it. When husband saw me wearing it, he said, "Howdy. Pard'ner." Nice.

I made these leaves our of this yarn with the thought of making the wreath. Decided, instead, to sew pins onto the back of individual leaves. I wear it on my February Lady Sweater. It looks nice.

I made drapes, curtains, whatever for my living room. I like them. Trying not to let my OCD tendencies flourish with the realization that one curtain has the pattern going up, the other has the pattern going down. 10 yards of fabric at Jomar for $24.50. Yes, please.

Inspired by this, I refashioned a blouse my sister gave me. The tie isn't as long as I'd like mainly b/c I used the scrap from the sides that I took in.

Must dash. Have an interview soon where I plan on wearing my new refashioned blouse with dry clean only pants that haven't been dry cleaned in xx years. Thank you, Downy wrinkle-release. Huh. Haven't watched Bridget Jones in awhile, not sure what inspired the last paragraph.

Why Photographs are awesome.

Solely based on this image, you would think we were having a great time. We weren't. My daughter was apparently PMSing about 6 years early. I had one of those parenting moments, when I pulled her out of the car, grabbing her arms tightly in my fists, that I scared myself. But ya know what? She still loves me. Yeah, she thinks I'm a bitch, but that just means I'm doing my job. Sorry, kid, you don't smack me and call me names and don't get punished for it.

Hopefully when we look at these photos years from now, we'll remember the horse ride, the 12" horse penis that flopped around as he walked in a circle, and the fact that even though there are bad days, the good days outnumber them.

Things that Don't Suck

1. Neighbors who read your FB status and then promptly deliver staples for your staple gun to your front door.

2. 800 mg of ibuprofen; when it works.

3. Air conditioning.

4. Cookies 'n Cream ice cream.

5. Law & Order: SVU

6. Purple flowers.

Whiny.

Feeling cranky and so, I thought I would make a detailed list of reasons for all of the internet (and Heather) to know.

1. My back is effing killing me. I have no idea what I did, but I am walking like I'm pregnant. I'm not pregnant, but if one person asks me when I'm due, I'll probably bust out in angry tears.

2. I hate my bangs. I thought I'd get bangs. Because, ya know, I am a glutton for punishment. I feel like shaving them off.

3. I am tired of pimples. I am almost 35. I'm bordering perimenopause with zits, red zit scars, and crazy gray hairs. This is not cool.

4. My house is a mess. WHY won't Abby clean up her shit? Is it necessary for 5 pairs of shoes to be sprawled around the living room? (I'm not kidding.)Why isn't the husband bothered by the mess? Also, why is the love seat considered an "OK" place to put things. It's a piece of comfy furniture, not a storage chest. (And now back to #1, it's annoying the piss out of me that I can't move around like I want to to clean up this mess.)

5. I thought, well, if I can't clean I'll recover the dining room chairs. I did 1.3 chairs and ran out of staples. In the grand scheme of life, not a big deal. At all. In my cranky state, it's enough to drive me to write a pointless blog entry.

The End.

Now What?!

My daughter is currently at her first full day of kindergarten. There was anxiety, a few tears, and a bit of nausea; however, once she got her uniform on, she transformed. I guess she realized that she has to do it. She was still very nervous, but once she got into the school yard and saw her friends, she felt a bit better.




I, however, have no idea what I'm going to do with myself. This is weird. I am alone in the house for 6 hours. I'm sure I'll figure something out...

The Post About Nothing in Particular.

In an effort to keep this blog revived, albeit, on life support, I am blogging today. I have nothing profound, interesting, or even mediocre to say, nor do I have photos to illustrate the text.

I have a lot on my mind, but not really sure that getting too in-depth with things is really blog-appropriate. Here are the headlines:

1. My baby is starting kindergarten tomorrow. Bittersweet. I am so sad that she is growing up so quickly, yet I am so impressed with the little girl that she is. Oh, how I wish homeschooling was an option. Sort of.

2. Job search. I've had my resume (pretend there's an accent mark over that last "e") out there for a few months. I've had no calls. I contacted a few people who are in the position to hire. I had an interview. I would enjoy the job if the pay was more than it is. I have to turn it down. The hours are fantastic (would be able to pick the child up from school!) Again, bittersweet.

3. Therapy. Oh therapy, you're kicking my ass. I've moved it to every other week, when, in actuality, I feel like I could/should go every day. I moved it to every other week due to finances. I love and hate going. I love it because I get an objective and helpful view, I hate it because I hate the topic. I have a constant heavy weight on my shoulders and it's not leaving. I constantly feel like I could cry at any second. I know, cryptic, but I'm not really getting into it here.

4. Creativity. I feel like I didn't capitalize on the time I was a stay-at-home mom. Why couldn't I start a photography business? Why can't I get this bag business that I've been thinking of since March off the ground!? Now that I have to work full-time, I feel like all that is shot to shit.

5. Moving. Speaking of shot to shit, my neighborhood is on a decline and that makes me angry and sad. I grew up here, and I do not even recognize it. Yeah, my block is cool, my neighbors are awesome, but the crime has increased and I don't like it one bit. (And, we cannot move until I get a job, see #2).

6. 35. I will be 35 next month. I know that is not old, I know I am still young, but it scares me. Is this mid life? Already!?

7. I think too much about everything.

8. Since therapy, the husband and I have been arguing more frequently. I guess it's good because I'm standing my ground (theoretically), but I don't like the arguing. Also, discussing it in therapy has made me realize something that I don't like.

9. Abby & I want to redo her room. I wish I had my own salary so we could do what we want.

10. I really miss my boy cats. When I get a full time job, the first thing I'm doing is getting a tattoo of them.