Regaining Brain Cells... Cubicle-Free Since 2005.

Pencil & Paper.

2012-01-12T11:01:00.002-05:00

Within the past week, I have started sketching. Not random swirls, or leaves, or goofy faces which is my norm. But drawing, of real things.

They're unimpressive, but very therapeutic. I used to love to draw. Drawing was my favorite art class. It's not something I excel in, but it is something that I have rediscovered. I thought about buying a sketch pad, but I realized that will be destined for failure. I will put pressure on myself to "perform" and therefore take the joy out of it. And then it will sit around for months until the child finds it and starts to draw pictures of flowers and rain within its pages.

So for now, I will be content with my sketches from photographs and things that are in my vision. (I just drew my left hand.)

When I look at things, most things, I crop it in an image, even if it's boring. That's just how my mind works. I then analyze shadows and highlights. I've been doing this since highschool. And I do it all. the. time. Since I don't have my camera in work, and I do have a pencil and paper, some of these cropped images are finally making their way into the world.

2012.

2012-01-01T09:08:00.004-05:00

Traditionally, resolutions are made with each new year. Traditionally, those resolutions are abandoned by February. Ordinarily, I do not make resolutions because I know myself well enough to know that they are fruitless. This year, however, I am making anti-resolutions. I resolve to not try to lose weight. I'm not going to exercise more.I am not going to be more organized. I know, I'm a fucking rebel.

I am done with beating myself up for eating doritos with my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I am going to get whipped cream on my salted caramel frappucino if I want it. I am going to get an everything bagel with cream cheese once in awhile. I will eat Turkey Hill cookies and cream ice cream because it tastes so much better than that "light" crap full of chemicals and unidentifiable ingredients.

I will exercise if I feel like it and not quit because I don't have a regular routine. Something is better than nothing. I will eat carrots because I like them, not because they have zero points. I will put Olivio on my baked potato because I want a healthy heart. I will choose whole wheat over white because I have never really like white bread. I will chose a hummus plate over grilled cheese because I like hummus.

I will not be ashamed of my body. I'm fat. That's just how I am. Just because I am fat, that does not mean that: my opinions hold less value, that I am lazy, that I can't be pretty, or stylish, or even sexy. I am fat and I'm healthy. The two are not mutually exclusive.

I like food. No. I love food. But not crappy McDonald's, or Applebee's, or Mrs. Smith's frozen pies. I love REAL food. Homemade pasta, homemade cookies & cakes. These are foods worth eating. Delicious food that makes me feel content, food that was made with love and care. Consequently, I also love to cook and bake. Knowing that you've made something that people genuinely enjoy is a wonderful feeling.

I'm not talking eating until I want to vomit, I'm talking about eating good food to nourish my body and my soul. I'm Italian, I like good food. There is no point in trying to stifle that part of myself.

Have a donut. (They're from Yum Yum's) And they are delicious. I ate a red velvet donut for breakfast with my coffee. Happy New Year!

Read My Hips.

2011-12-21T16:01:00.004-05:00

In the smack dab middle of Read My Hips by Kim Brittingham.

As I told my sister via text, if I wasn't a robot, I would cry. Never have I felt such a strong, personal connection to written words. That is a bold statement, I know. The entire book is about loving yourself no matter your size. All things that I realize, or, as my therapist says, "my executive side" realizes, but are so difficult to put into practice.

The words I am typing here do no justice to effect this books is having on me; it prompted me to creep Kim Brittingham out on Facebook and write her a brief message. This is not normal behavior for me.

So far, one of my favorite bits, "And regardless of what size or shape my body may be, no matter how it may change -- bigger, smaller, looser, older -- I want to be loved just as I am. Me, in my natural packaging, appreciated for the whole that I am, for all the wonderful innate qualities that I bring to the table."

FAIL!

2011-12-18T11:15:00.003-05:00

Apparently I am not maintaining brain cells. I am losing them.

Two fails in one weekend, I'm going for a record...

Fail #1: Made Christmas cookies. My sister came over, I had already started the pizelles, when she got here, she started on the chocolate chips. My second round of cookies is my favorite: butter cookies. Those little spritzer cookies full of artery-clogging, triglyceride-raising goodness. The dough was uncooperative, so I refrigerated it. That worked for the cookie press. And then I put them in the oven and they spread out all over the place. I was frustrated and angry. I tossed everything out. Later, for whatever reason, I realized how I effed up. I put in 8x the butter, but only 4x the other ingredients. Good-bye brain cells, it was nice getting reacquainted you for a brief time. Go spread your competence elsewhere.

Fail #2: Got a jump on the the laundry this weekend. I started it on Saturday evening instead of Sunday morning. Felt way ahead of the game, a little treat to myself for effing up the cookies. (Yeah, completing laundry is a treat, typing that, I realize I'm much more a Type A personality than I care to admit.) This morning, as I was again, feeling satisfied that it is not yet noon and the laundry is away, I cursed myself for thinking to gain a time advantage, I'd just toss the whites in with the colors. Husband's undershirts are tinged gray, as is my white camisole. Goodbye common sense brain cells, I hope you use your power for good instead of evil.

In Love.

2011-12-07T10:45:00.003-05:00

There is some one new in my life, but I have a feeling that my love is unrequited. This is a reason for this: my new love is a house. A beautiful, beautiful house that, deep within my being, I feel is meant for my family.

I cannot stop thinking about this place. The center hallway, the welcoming porch,the cozy living room with gas fireplace, the thick, shiny plank hardwood floors, the humongous add-on kitchen with dining nook, the large deck, the huge yard with plenty of room for all sorts of vegetables, all the natural light. *sigh*

I have driven past this home many, many times. I always wondered what it looked like inside. Now I know, and it is even more amazing. The idea of walking up the porch steps and entering the double front door excites me.

But now, the downside: anxiety. We are an anxious family, each with our own peccadillos. How will the child cope with not having friends two doors away? How will we cope with her anxiety? Should the move be postponed until she's older? My heart is torn. My heart wants this house so badly, but my heart also wants to protect my daughter.

Does the blog need to be renamed?

2011-11-06T09:57:00.002-05:00

So, this blog was started however many years ago, when I was reveling in the fact that I no longer worked in a cubicle and I could celebrate my hobbies; hence, "Regaining Brain Cells."

I got a 9-5 job. First day is tomorrow. And sure, I won't be in a cubicle, but an office, which really, is kind of like "The King's New Clothes" version of office-life awesomeness. Anyhow, I'm going in with a good attitude because I realize that in true Jaime-fashion, I am sincerely apathetic. I'm not nervous, I'm not excited, it's just something I have to do tomorrow. I don't really know what this job will hold, and frankly, I'm OK with that because after much soul searching during the past couple years, I've realized that I have no career goals. What I want to do with my life is be a mom. And I am a mom. And that makes me happy. I don't want 15 kids, or even 2 kids. I have 1 kid and that is perfect for me. I get to experience all the joys, annoyances, dramas, and bliss that comes with motherhood and that makes me happy. Being a mom is my career, and I like it.

I have no regrets about quitting a job that I hated to raise my daughter. The past five and half years were amazingly wonderful and brutally frustrating and exactly what I wanted. I still want it, I just have to make money. Unfortunately, motherhood has no salary, but fortunately, mucho benefits, which I will still reap.

Back to the title of the blog, I think I'll change it to "Maintaining Brain Cells" because, as most are, I am optimistic at the start of my new job venture. I have confidence that I will not let this job define me, or break me, torment me, or make me lose brain cells. Hell! I've working at pharmacy part-time for five years, true, it was only part time, but I didn't feel worthless or undervalued because I got what I want, need, and crave from my family. I hope that I can maintain this attitude with my new job.

Things I've Made but Haven't Taken Pictures of

2011-10-24T11:03:00.002-04:00

I made this infinity scarf. I love it. When husband saw me wearing it, he said, "Howdy. Pard'ner." Nice.

I made these leaves our of this yarn with the thought of making the wreath. Decided, instead, to sew pins onto the back of individual leaves. I wear it on my February Lady Sweater. It looks nice.

I made drapes, curtains, whatever for my living room. I like them. Trying not to let my OCD tendencies flourish with the realization that one curtain has the pattern going up, the other has the pattern going down. 10 yards of fabric at Jomar for $24.50. Yes, please.

Inspired by this, I refashioned a blouse my sister gave me. The tie isn't as long as I'd like mainly b/c I used the scrap from the sides that I took in.

Must dash. Have an interview soon where I plan on wearing my new refashioned blouse with dry clean only pants that haven't been dry cleaned in xx years. Thank you, Downy wrinkle-release. Huh. Haven't watched Bridget Jones in awhile, not sure what inspired the last paragraph.

Why Photographs are awesome.

2011-10-12T22:14:00.003-04:00

Solely based on this image, you would think we were having a great time. We weren't. My daughter was apparently PMSing about 6 years early. I had one of those parenting moments, when I pulled her out of the car, grabbing her arms tightly in my fists, that I scared myself. But ya know what? She still loves me. Yeah, she thinks I'm a bitch, but that just means I'm doing my job. Sorry, kid, you don't smack me and call me names and don't get punished for it.

Hopefully when we look at these photos years from now, we'll remember the horse ride, the 12" horse penis that flopped around as he walked in a circle, and the fact that even though there are bad days, the good days outnumber them.

Things that Don't Suck

2011-09-27T09:31:00.003-04:00

1. Neighbors who read your FB status and then promptly deliver staples for your staple gun to your front door.

2. 800 mg of ibuprofen; when it works.

3. Air conditioning.

4. Cookies 'n Cream ice cream.

5. Law & Order: SVU

6. Purple flowers.

Whiny.

2011-09-26T10:18:00.002-04:00

Feeling cranky and so, I thought I would make a detailed list of reasons for all of the internet (and Heather) to know.

1. My back is effing killing me. I have no idea what I did, but I am walking like I'm pregnant. I'm not pregnant, but if one person asks me when I'm due, I'll probably bust out in angry tears.

2. I hate my bangs. I thought I'd get bangs. Because, ya know, I am a glutton for punishment. I feel like shaving them off.

3. I am tired of pimples. I am almost 35. I'm bordering perimenopause with zits, red zit scars, and crazy gray hairs. This is not cool.

4. My house is a mess. WHY won't Abby clean up her shit? Is it necessary for 5 pairs of shoes to be sprawled around the living room? (I'm not kidding.)Why isn't the husband bothered by the mess? Also, why is the love seat considered an "OK" place to put things. It's a piece of comfy furniture, not a storage chest. (And now back to #1, it's annoying the piss out of me that I can't move around like I want to to clean up this mess.)

5. I thought, well, if I can't clean I'll recover the dining room chairs. I did 1.3 chairs and ran out of staples. In the grand scheme of life, not a big deal. At all. In my cranky state, it's enough to drive me to write a pointless blog entry.

The End.

Now What?!

2011-09-13T09:19:00.003-04:00

My daughter is currently at her first full day of kindergarten. There was anxiety, a few tears, and a bit of nausea; however, once she got her uniform on, she transformed. I guess she realized that she has to do it. She was still very nervous, but once she got into the school yard and saw her friends, she felt a bit better.

I, however, have no idea what I'm going to do with myself. This is weird. I am alone in the house for 6 hours. I'm sure I'll figure something out...

The Post About Nothing in Particular.

2011-09-12T09:08:00.003-04:00

In an effort to keep this blog revived, albeit, on life support, I am blogging today. I have nothing profound, interesting, or even mediocre to say, nor do I have photos to illustrate the text.

I have a lot on my mind, but not really sure that getting too in-depth with things is really blog-appropriate. Here are the headlines:

1. My baby is starting kindergarten tomorrow. Bittersweet. I am so sad that she is growing up so quickly, yet I am so impressed with the little girl that she is. Oh, how I wish homeschooling was an option. Sort of.

2. Job search. I've had my resume (pretend there's an accent mark over that last "e") out there for a few months. I've had no calls. I contacted a few people who are in the position to hire. I had an interview. I would enjoy the job if the pay was more than it is. I have to turn it down. The hours are fantastic (would be able to pick the child up from school!) Again, bittersweet.

3. Therapy. Oh therapy, you're kicking my ass. I've moved it to every other week, when, in actuality, I feel like I could/should go every day. I moved it to every other week due to finances. I love and hate going. I love it because I get an objective and helpful view, I hate it because I hate the topic. I have a constant heavy weight on my shoulders and it's not leaving. I constantly feel like I could cry at any second. I know, cryptic, but I'm not really getting into it here.

4. Creativity. I feel like I didn't capitalize on the time I was a stay-at-home mom. Why couldn't I start a photography business? Why can't I get this bag business that I've been thinking of since March off the ground!? Now that I have to work full-time, I feel like all that is shot to shit.

5. Moving. Speaking of shot to shit, my neighborhood is on a decline and that makes me angry and sad. I grew up here, and I do not even recognize it. Yeah, my block is cool, my neighbors are awesome, but the crime has increased and I don't like it one bit. (And, we cannot move until I get a job, see #2).

6. 35. I will be 35 next month. I know that is not old, I know I am still young, but it scares me. Is this mid life? Already!?

7. I think too much about everything.

8. Since therapy, the husband and I have been arguing more frequently. I guess it's good because I'm standing my ground (theoretically), but I don't like the arguing. Also, discussing it in therapy has made me realize something that I don't like.

9. Abby & I want to redo her room. I wish I had my own salary so we could do what we want.

10. I really miss my boy cats. When I get a full time job, the first thing I'm doing is getting a tattoo of them.

Scones!

2011-08-26T09:40:00.006-04:00

It's no secret that I adore sweet baked items. If I had to rank texture of said sweets, it ascending order it would go: sticky (cinnamon rolls), gooey (butter cake), crumbly (biscotti), dry & cake-y (tea biscuits, scones).

Now, don't misinterpret, all of these are highly ranked, in fact, now I find myself craving a cinnamon roll, but I digress...

Every time I go to Starbucks, I buy 3 of those petite vanilla bean scones. They're so tasty. I love the little crack as I bite into the vanilla bean glaze. Yum. After scouring (OK, I looked at a few sites), I decided upon the Pioneer Woman's mock up. And, while I'm discussing the Pioneer Woman, I feel disappointed at how commercial she has become. I think it's awesome that her blog is popular, it's also super cool that she has a cookbook, but really, a show on the food network? Eh. I've lost my interest.

Anyhow, (man! why do I keeping going off on tangents?) I made her scone recipe, except I used pure vanilla extract instead of vanilla beans (or caviar as she calls it, which actually, is kind of annoying). Sorry Pioneer Woman, I may have your love of cooking, baking, and photography, but I do not have your bank account.

Summation: the scones were very good, I will make them again, but smaller.
They weren't *exact* replicas texture-wise, but they are super delicious either way.

Missing my Boys

2011-08-21T11:23:00.002-04:00

Last night I had a dream about Carlos & Charlie. It wasn't a good dream. In my dream, they were alive, but both in the process of dying. It was awful and sad. The night before that I had a dream that Abby got into their ashes and found large pieces of identifiable bone: a piece of jaw, and a paw.

Charlie has been gone for almost 4 years, Carlos, not even a year. I miss them both terribly and think about them every day. I am fighting tears now as I write this.

We have two cats now, but they are not really involved in our lives. Zelda is very independent and George sleeps most of the day, comes out at night to torment Zelda and bite and/or scratch me. There is no cat-on-cat or cat-on-human cuddling. It is very sad. I miss my boys.

This is me and Carlos. I don't have any pictures of Charlie on this laptop. :(

Coasters.

2011-08-18T10:04:00.005-04:00

Inspired by the simplicity of this find on pinterest. (And the fact that I have all supplies on hand!) Abby & I made coasters. We had coasters, they're made of cardboard, which is a really stupid substance for a coaster to be made from, really.

This coaster is made from tile, paper, and felt, mod podge, and water-based sealer. Abby made a set and I made a set. She did everything herself, so it's a really easy project for kids to do!

Adaptations: I cut the paper a bit shorter than the size of the tile, so the paper didn't overlap. I also didn't have the little sticky felt pieces, so I just cut up some felt and glued it to the bottom. These are cute ideas for housewarmings, holidays, whatever. I think they'd also look cute with fabric scraps.

Time Suck.

2011-08-13T10:09:00.004-04:00

As if facebook, flickr, and etsy aren't enough of a time suck, I've added a new website to the mix. Pinterest.
It's a site of virtual idea boards. You can "pin" images from any website onto a designated board. I have several boards including: lunch ideas, halloween, cloche hat, and cat-related items. One of the cool things about this site is that it gives proper credit to the original site. Kudos, pinterest!

This is such a cool idea because it negates the need for my annoyingly unorganized, endless array of bookmarks. Such a cool idea for redoing a room in your house, or anything really. You can also select ideas you're interested in (DIY, photography, technology, music, etc.). You can also see the pins of other people who share similar likes, styles, and tastes. Chalk this up to another, "Why the eff didn't I think of that?!" idea

Powder Room Cupcakes

2011-08-10T10:00:00.005-04:00

So, a couple (few?) years ago my lovely friend Heather purchased Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World and surprised me with it. I've made many a cupcake from that book, although, admittedly, I often didn't make them vegan. I just like the clever cupcake flavors.
Each time I look through that book, 2 cupcakes stand out. The green tea cupcakes, which I've made numerous times (non-vegan) and love. I make myself a green tea cake for my birthday each year (OK, 2 years in a row, but probably for the rest of my life until I decide that I don't feel like baking myself a cake anymore.) My daughter hates it, but I don't care. It's my birthday and if I want to pay $11.00 an ounce for matcha, then I'm gonna do it, dammit!
The second cupcake is the cover girl of the book. Rosewater pistachio. I know. I don't really care the pistachio as a nut, but in things, it doesn't bother me. And rosewater, I had no idea what it tasted like, but it sounds cool and worthy of a fancy-schmancy cupcake. On a trip to Whole Foods, at least six months (probably closer to a year) ago, I purchased some rosewater. It's been sitting in my cabinet.
I finally put it to use. It smells good, but not edible. I blame this on my Aunt Rose. Well, she's my great-aunt, but whatever.
She had a "powder room" off of her kitchen. It was overly pink and smelled rosy. I didn't realize it at the time, but the second I had a sniff of the clear liquid I was about to pour into cupcakes, I was immediately was standing in Aunt Rose's powder room. Gross. I'm about to flavor the cupcakes with the scent of a bathroom.

So, I can't really give an unbiased opinion of these cupcakes since I feel like I'm eating bathroom smell. I think it's needless to say that I will not be making these again. Abby enjoyed the first bite and finished the cupcake, but didn't want anymore. And she doesn't even have the bathroom memories, so that says something.
Oh, I didn't add the cardamom that the recipe calls for because I've realized that I only like cardamom in chai. It annoys me in anything else.

The Resurrection!

2011-08-09T09:20:00.003-04:00

More than 365 days have passed since I've written in this blog. Not more than a week goes by that I think about resurrecting it. Today. Today is the resurrection. Please mark this day on your calendar (Heather, my sole reader).

So, what has occurred in the past 12 months? Lots of baking, sewing, and knitting. I also started a book reviewing blog with the child, which I've enjoyed enormously, but, alas! it is now defunct. Mainly because, (looking around shiftily), I have library books that are late. Very late. Months late. I am embarrassed to admit this publicly, even more embarrassed to own up to my crime at the local branch. Also, I feel like I enjoyed the blog more than the child. It got to the point where I could feel her eyes roll. I don't want her to hate reading books because her mother wants to blog about it. Heaven knows I don't want her to resent me for making her do things that I want to do, but she has no interest in...

Which, leads me to the second big thing of the year. Therapy. It's been helpful and stressful. I've also started writing in a journal again. The last time the journal was written in was December 7, 2005. The day before the child was born.

And school. I stopped going to school. I don't feel like getting into the whole thought process, but I'm very pleased with my decision. It's allowed me much more time to read. I've read so many amazing books since quitting school: The Help, I Know This Much is True, Water for Elephants, just to name a few.

Yeah, other things have happened, but nothing really comes to mind right now.

To conclude, enjoy a teaser photo for the next post.

Baby Shower Gifts.

2010-07-31T21:29:00.004-04:00

My first sewing projects in, um, F O R E V E R.
All of these projects were pretty simple and turned out really cute. I love the fabric. The parents aren't finding out the baby's sex and I'm kind of glad because if I knew it was a boy or a girl, I probably would have gone for a gender specific fabric. This is pretty gender neutral without being a blatant, "I don't know what the sex of the baby is so here is something yellow and green" gift.
The blanket & bib are from Bend-the-Rules Sewing.
The kimono is from here. The last one I made was quite awhile ago!

A Delicious Sandwich.

2010-07-27T10:54:00.002-04:00

I've had this recipe bookmarked for awhile. It's very good. I served it for dinner, but Cooking Light recommends it for breakfast/brunch.
I served it with sweet potato fries.

The sandwich is grilled goat cheese sandwich served on cinnamon raisin bread. The goat cheese mixture includes honey, lemon zest, and basil. The recipe calls for fig preserves. I couldn't find that, so I used Dickinson's apple butter instead. Very delicious!

Sorry for the crappy picture.

Some Sad (probably overdramatic) Thoughts.

2010-07-21T09:10:00.003-04:00

I've been wanting to blog, but can't think of anything creative or clever to say.
I've been perusing old posts, even old flickr commentary. I don't even remember writing half of the things, and can't even believe that they came from my head.

I've deduced that school has sucked the life out of me. This makes me sad. But, what furthers my sadness is the high possibility that this will happen to Abby. School, but its nature, just does that. I hate that. Oh, how I wish that home schooling was an option for us. I really, really do.

But, it's not. I need to work (hence the reason I'm back in school) and Abby needs the social interaction and constant activity that school provides.

I get really sad when I think about her losing her creativity, or being told how/what to think.

Graceful.

2010-07-13T13:41:00.004-04:00

I finished my first knitted non-scarf wearable item. For myself.
The pattern was easy, but the chart was a pain in the ass. Combined with my fading printer ink, the small diagram, and the pattern errors, I almost gave up.

I don't know why I have more patience with knitting than I do with anything else. It's weird an unexplainable. Honestly though, if I had encountered the problems I did when I started the top, I probably wouldn't have finished. The major problems came on the last piece of the front. I had to finish it!

The yarn is a discontinued Lion Brand (Imagine) line from Heather. It's kind of itchy, but will be perfectly fine worn over a button down shirt in the fall and winter.

Oh, and I put it on ravelry. My first ravelry posting. I'm a dork because that's exciting for me.

Over 2 months.

2010-06-28T09:24:00.003-04:00

It's been over 2 months and I'm blogging without pictures. What a let down.

This blog will not be about school: stressful; knitting: active; sewing: inactive; baking: sporadic; cooking: minimal and lazy; instead, it will be about what has preoccupied my mind since, oh probably 2nd grade when a 7th grader said to me, and I quote, "You got a big ass."

I'm a bigger person. Always have been. And when I say "bigger" I don't mean fat, I mean large. I'm tall, and just generally large. I wear a size 10 shoe. I'm not saying, "Oh, I'm big boned, that's why I look like this." It's just to prove my point. Throughout my life, most of my friend have been petite, this only added to my ogre-ish feelings. Perhaps that's why I was always attracted to tall guys (husband is 6'5".)

I weighed myself the other day. I managed to gain 5 pounds in a week. Don't know how that happened. It's not menstrual. I weigh the most I ever have (besides when I was pregnant... that doesn't count.)

I weight more than I did when I started Weight Watchers in 2003. That go around I lost a lot of weight. 53 lbs. I kept it off too, until I got pregnant. Since giving birth in 2005, I've tried Weight Watchers 3 more times. THREE. Lost very minimal, and the progress was super slow. I got so discouraged, I quit. And managed to gain back more than I had lost. Such a statistic. A depressing statistic. I blame(d) Zoloft. I started taking that about a week after my kiddo was born. That's almost 5 years on it; I recently weaned myself off and have since started taking 5-HTP. So far, so good with the mental health. But, will it help me lose weight? Who knows.

So now comes the crux. I know I need to lose weight. I know it. I try. I get discouraged. I try to like myself despite the fact that I abhor how I look. The person I am on the inside isn't reflected on the outside. But why shouldn't it be? Just because I'm FAT doesn't mean I can't be sexy, or pretty, or funny. But, it's easy to be socially stupid and awkward and to hide behind the layers so I'm not looked at funny. "Oh, the fat girl. She *has* to be funny because she can't possibly be sexy." Not fair. And, on most days, I don't let this get to me, but it's easy to fall into this way of thinking. Too easy. I hate the word FAT. I don't use it around my daughter. My goal is to not have her preoccupied with weight. She's already a big kid; she's 4 1/2 and wearing a size 8. She's tall. Her weight is proportional. She is perfect. She towers over her classmates. I need to have a healthy attitude so that she has a healthy attitude.

So, how to lose weight without feeling like you're worthless if you're overweight? How? There's the health factor, sure.

I'm rambling. These thoughts are scattered in my mind and mainly, I'm just writing it to kind of piece things together.

I think a lot of times people see "fat" people and either feel disgust or pity. Disgust: "Just stop eating at McDonald's." Pity: "Poor girl, she'd be so pretty if she lost some weight."

Fact about me: I don't eat McDonald's. Fuck. I don't even eat red meat or chicken. I don't like cream sauces. I eat more than my fair share of fruits & veggies. I exercise at least 3 times a week. Yeah, I have ice cream a couple times a week, but not super-sized Dairy Queen crap. Real ice cream; either home-made ice cream, or Turkey Hill vanilla, no artificial crap.

Summation: Being overweight doesn't mean I'm worthless. Don't judge overweight people. You don't know why they're overweight; hell, they may not even know why.

On my Needles.

2010-04-16T08:59:00.004-04:00

I just finished up this a few days ago. I still need to do the trim (it's crochet and I don't know how to do that) and add a clasp. Other than that, it's assembled and wearable.

Now, I'm working on this bag.

(picture from the purl bee's website)
I don't know how, but I ended up decreasing a total of 10 stitches, but whatever. I'm still going on with it because the pattern is simple and enjoyable.

I'm using Rowan's Calmer Yarn in a light purple color.

This bag is in preparation of the Headhouse Market's opening next month. I like to trick myself into thinking that I will go there frequently. I know this to be false, but I plan to get there at least once during the season.

Tattoo. (Not the short guy from Fantasty Island).

2010-04-13T10:20:00.004-04:00

I've been wanting another tattoo for awhile. Something Halloween-ish. Perhaps something like this (minus the words):

Or something like this:

I know it's gonna be awhile before I get another one. I just like to thing about it.

Balance.

2010-04-02T09:27:00.002-04:00

How do these women who have fourteen kids and a challenging yet creative career find the time to blog? Blogs incorporated with photos and witty quips and the amazement of every day life? HOW?

I have one kid. I work part time. I am in school part time. I have no time to do what I want, let alone blog about it.

I do school work, house work suffers. I clean my house, school work suffers. I do school work or house work, time with my daughter suffers.

What am I doing wrong?

Furthermore, I am feeling torn with things in my personal life that I am not about to put on this blog.

I feel like I need a good solitary (heh) cry.

All this and I'm not even PMSing.

Meow.

2010-03-31T11:22:00.000-04:00

"A cat's eyes are windows enabling us to see into another world." - Irish Legend

A recent purchase.

2010-03-30T09:12:00.005-04:00

I went to JoAnn's on Sunday with my mom, daughter, and sister.
I bought some pre-smocked fabric (feels like cheating, but I can't get my sewing machine to use elastic thread) to make my daughter a dress.

I also bought something that I've been wanting. It's nothing that I've used before. Tile nippers! I've always liked mosaics, and have always wanted to try my hand at it.
I honestly don't know when I'm going to actually do this but at least now I have the tool I need when the mood strikes.

Another school quarter has started, I am going to try to blog at least once a week. It probably won't be craft-related, but ah well.

Me Smart.

2010-03-29T16:30:00.007-04:00

So, I bought this capri/bermunda shorts pattern that I've been eyeing up for almost a year.

Bought super cheap fabric at Jomar; this way, if it was a huge failure, I wouldn't feel bad.

They come together super fast. Just under an hour. (Not including cutting or the blind hemming which I did by hand.)

(Please pardon what looks to be a camel toe, but is not; also, pay no attention to the dirty mirror or the mess of toys behind me.)

I wanted to include back pockets because well, let's face it, my ass needs pockets. BUT OF COURSE, I forgot to put the pockets on and didn't realize I skipped that part until they were assembled. I did my best to put the pockets where I thought they should be. Heh. The pockets look like flower pots and my butt cheeks look like big puffy dimpled potatoes.

NEXT TIME (and there will be a next time!) I will use less elastic on the back, and remember to put the pockets on prior to assembly.

Easy pattern. Two thumbs and flat misshapen butt cheeks up.

Paternal Past.

2010-03-26T09:42:00.006-04:00

Both of my dad's parents are gone. My grandfather died suddenly in 1995 of a massive heart attack. I still remember that morning vividly. The multiple phone calls. My dad running out of the house and scrambling in the car. Then his phone call to our house.

It's always strange after some one dies to see how family dynamics are altered. After my grandfather's death, my grandmother seemed to lose her interest in living. Caring for my grandfather was what she did. Now she didn't know what to do. They were married for almost 55 years.

Her life after his death was mainly filled with search word puzzles and television. In 2005 when I called to tell her I was pregnant, she first gasped in excitement and then said, "Well, the future is for the young." She died on July 22, 2005. That was the day I had the 20-week ultrasound and found out that Abby was in fact, a girl. My dad told her before she died. I'm glad she knew she was having a great granddaughter.

My mom called me that night to tell me that she died. I was sitting in a recliner in my basement. It was expected. I didn't cry. Ever. Isn't that odd? I've never cried for her death. I think it's because I know that she is where she wanted to be for so long. I always thought when people said that, it was just something to say. I did feel tears starting to form as I walked toward her casket, but when I saw her, I felt a sense of calm and contentment. Wrong or right, it is what it is.

The Past.

2010-03-25T23:23:00.008-04:00

I have a certain fondness for things of the past. I can endlessly peruse old sewing patterns, old cookbooks, and old photos; I've always had an attraction to old black and white pictures.

Growing up, there was a closet in the basement (now my sewing closet) that contained an old gray metal shelving unit. On the top of one of those shelves was a painted gray crate with piles of old photo albums and stacks of single photos. Every so often, I'd finagle that crate from its shelf and look through its contents. Even though I'd seen and studied each photo countless times, I'd still concentrate on each picture. Trying to somehow force myself into it. In my imagination, I could go into those pictures and meet my young parents. (With my present knowledge, there's a lot I could say!)But, in the idealistic daydreams of my youth, I always wanted to go back into the 1940s, to see my grandparents get married, to wear one of those beautiful dresses, to be a part of something that seemed both romantic and comfortable. *sigh*

Almost four year ago, my cousin bought our grandfather's house. He left his old photo albums there. Recently, my cousin let me borrow those pictures. I scanned some. I tried to wish myself into the photos. I know it's not going to work, but I'm happy that I can still daydream.

Conclusions.

2010-03-25T09:04:00.004-04:00

1. No matter what you do/ don't do, your child is gonna end up hating something about how she was raised. It's inevitable. My job as a parent is to make sure that the thing she hates doesn't somehow turn her into either a sociopath or a republican. I'm kidding... I know she's not a sociopath.

2. Happiness about a 4.0 is fleeting, as it should be for a 33 year old woman. I've been in college. I've graduated with honors. It has meant absolutely nothing and got me nowhere, and therefore, it is pointless to feel pride about it. Happily, I am no longer under the delusion that when I graduate I will get an awesome job. Been there. Done that. Got a job in a call center.

3. Now I understand why my mom said she was changing her name. "Mom, can I have a tissue?" "Mom, will you get me a drink?" "Mom, can I have a snack too?" "Mom, can I come out of my room?" "Mom, let's cuddle." "Mom, I don't wanna watch this." "Mom, I wanna go outside." "Mom, can I ride my bike?" "Mom, I have to poop." "Mom, I'm done."
Every time my daughter wants to say something to me, it begins with "mom." Imagine how annoying that is. If she would just cut out the "mom" it wouldn't be as bad. (At least that's what I'm telling myself.) Imagine your spouse saying your name at the beginning of every sentence. It gets old. Quickly. I feel bad for complaining, but I know I'm not alone in this. Solidarity in numbers.

Things I've Haven't Touched since starting school:

2010-03-11T09:14:00.003-05:00

1. My sewing machine.

2. My new serger. I have a feeling he thinks I don't like him.

3. Sketch book.

4. My camera has been touched, but barely.

Exactly what I feared.

2010-03-03T10:21:00.002-05:00

Blog is basically non-existent, as is my free time.
I'd feel worse about it if I was consumed with school work.

I was beginning to feel completely lost. In need of something creative and wonderful.
I picked up knitting needles and beautiful, silk blend manos yarn and whipped myself up a hat.

Of course, due to excessive knitting, my schoolwork suffered. I am sad that I cannot find the balance. Hopefully I will soon. Hopefully.

Review: Disney World.

2010-02-11T09:18:00.002-05:00

The short review: My daughter had fun and that's all that matters. I loved watching her get excited at meeting princesses. And gasping when she saw Cinderella's castle for the first time. Those moments are priceless.

My completely cynical, pissy pants review:
Day 1: Checked into hotel and went to Downtown Disney. Ate at Wolfgang Puck's place. I got 1 sushi roll. It was $16.95. I usually eat 3-4 rolls. There was no way in hell I was paying for 3 rolls at that price. It wasn't even that great.

The first day at Magic Kingdom was stressful. Abby was still overtired from the long travel day. The fun parts: her seeing the castle for the first time and meeting Mickey & Minnie. Then all hell broke loose. She slid on a slide and smashed her face into the ground. Huge black and blue on her cheek. Crying for hours. We walked back to the hotel with a sobbing kid. Each of us refraining from screaming at her or each other. Then Abby decided to torment us with possibly having a bladder infection. Peeing every 3 minutes. Seriously. Apparently she just has a nervous bladder. Or something.

It did get better from here. Until it got worse.

I'm not gonna go into daily details. My overview is this: Disney is manufactured, corporate fun. I could not really get into it all because I kept wondering where the lobotomy ride was. Seriously. Everyone who works there is nice. And that's great. If it's sincere. I don't think it was. That is a problem for me. I cannot stand insincerity. Perhaps (most likely) I'm over thinking, wouldn't be the first time.

The food was kind of sucky. Not vegetarian-friendly at all. It got to the point where I was fighting the urge to get a turkey sandwich just for something different. Vegetarian options at most places: cheese pizza. Ask for something without the meat and the lobotomized employees look confused. "Do you want chicken?" NO! NO FUCKING MEAT! WE DO NOT EAT MEAT.
The best food: lobster ravioli at Tutto Italia in Epcot. The bread was also good. And, the cream cheese french toast in Cinderella's castle. That was good. The fresh fruit was a nice treat in February.
Other than that, there are no memorable meals. That sucks considering for how long we were there; which leads to the extended stay...

Snow in Philly kept us in an Orlando airport hotel for 3 extra days. We rented a car and found some places to go. They would have been fun if not for the frustration of being "trapped." I wanted to drive home so badly. My mom didn't. It probably wouldn't have been a good idea with Abby anyhow, but I cannot stand feeling like I have no control.
During our extended stay, we ate dinner two nights in a row at Maggiano's. That was good. We got the super-super-appetizer with fried onions, zucchini, spinach artichoke dip, bruschetta, and stuffed mushrooms. Everything was *so* tasty! I got garlic shrimp linguini that Abby loved. (The pasta, not the shrimp!) I also had a delicious pineapple martini. That's a reflection of how poor the Disney food was: I'm raving about a chain restaurant.

Anyhow, it's not like I didn't have fun, I did! We had a blast swimming in the pool. It was awesome to sit by the pool and watch Abby & Joe play while sipping on a pina colada. Abby was pretty good and so patient.

I had lots of things planned that just didn't happen: Hollywood Studios, Animal Kingdom, Bibbidi Boppiti Boutique. It wasn't worth the hassle and stress. We just chilled a couple of days and that's what vacation is all about. I'd like to thank my daughter for teaching me that.

Hi.

2010-01-22T08:40:00.003-05:00

So yeah, haven't blogged in about a month. I think about it everyday though, I really do. Unfortunately, as I predicted, my "free time" is consumed with school work. BUT, I'm not gonna complain. I am actually (and surprisingly) really enjoying it.

Yeah, it's a lot of work, but I'm hoping it will pay off. I am very tired of not bringing in a worthy income.

I am feeling the need to create something though. The urge is very strong, but alas, I do not have one particular project in mind, so it kind of get pushed to the wayside. I want to do a cross-stitch project, I want to make a quilt for myself, I want to finish a messenger bag that I cut out the pieces for, I want to knit a little sweater set for a friend's in utero daughter, I want to USE MY SERGER!!! I want to make a journal out of an old book.

Ah well. Happily, craft projects will be there when school is over (whatever YEAR that is.) And, because I'm going straight through, all year, no breaks, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, but in a good way.

Just Be Nice.

2009-12-29T09:47:00.003-05:00

I saw this in Peddler's Village. Seems to be good advice. The picture is blurry, but I like it anyhow.

For what it's worth,I do not like New Year's Eve. Or, New Year's Day, for that matter. I do not make resolutions either. A waste of time, really.

All that being said, 2010 has to be better than 2009. It has to. It has no choice. I will not let it be otherwise.

I feel like I'll have a lot on my plate this upcoming year, but I'm exciting about them. At least, that's what I'm convincing myself.

I'm "going back" to school. Online. But still, it's going to be a lot of work since I've been out of school 10 years. Just enough time to expire anything that could be applied to my degree.

I'm starting 365 again. One self-portrait a day for 365 days. I did it before and loved it. I've tried it twice since then, but stopped. I'm going to need encouragement to keep going, but I think it's important that I do it this year. I know myself. The more entrenched I become in school work, the less creative I will feel. I will need this daily photography project to feel like I'm doing something creative.

That is all.

Gingerbread Caramel Corn.

2009-12-28T11:18:00.002-05:00

Last December I got a caramel corn recipe from a flickr friend. I finally got around to making it. Or, at least, my adaptation of it.

I initially was going to make it exactly how she did. Real popcorn, light corn syrup, etc.

Then I burnt the real popcorn. And I didn't have corn syrup. Blah.

I decided to create my own version.

Gingerbread Caramel Corn
1 Cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup butter (vegetable spreads are not recommended)
1/4 cup molasses
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
pinch of ground cloves
1/2 tsp baking soda

Pop 2 bags of 94% fat-free popcorn.

Heat oven to 200 degress F.

Over medium heat, cook brown sugar, butter, molasses, salt & spices in 2-quart saucepan, stirring occasionally until bubbly around edges. Continue cooking 5 minutes; remove from heat. Stir in baking soda until foamy.

Pour sugar over popcorn; toss until evenly coated. Bake 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes. cool completely & store in air-tight container.

My First Attempt.

2009-12-24T08:56:00.006-05:00

I finally canned something last week.

I made this honey lemon marmalade. I put in some ground ginger. It was a pretty easy, process.

Make the marmalade.

Seal jars. (They're in water in this picture.)

That's it.

I finally tasted the preserves this morning on toast. I don't like it one bit! I'm so disappointed. The lemon rind isn't soft at all, and there's waaaay to much of it. There's also a weird after taste. And I have 5 jars of the stuff. So bummed!

Pieces of December.

2009-12-23T16:43:00.003-05:00

Brown Sugar.

2009-12-18T08:52:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I made lots of cookies. Abby wanted to make chocolate chip cookies, so we made those too. For whatever reason, I suck at the most basic cookie. Anyhow, I was getting everything ready and realize I was out of brown sugar. Duh.
I made some. It was so easy and kind of cool to watch it come together.

1. 1 Tbsp of molasses to 1 c of white sugar.

2. Blend.

3. Blend some more.

4. Store.

FOUR.

2009-12-11T08:40:00.006-05:00

My daughter turned four years old on the 8th. If you want to watch time fly, have a kid. Seriously. *sigh*
She had a birthday party at Bounce U which was super fun for everyone, even the adults!

(yes, that's me on a slide.)

I made her a birthday cake that really disappointed me, but everyone else seemed to like it. I get frustrated when my ideas do not come to fruition and therefore the end result is a huge disappointment. I did, however, like how the little chocolate characters turned out. The cake was delicious too... chocolate cake with vanilla frosting.

I made her a birthday banner based on Alicia Paulson's idea, but I made little pockets on the back of the flag pieces so that the name pieces can slide off and on and therefore be personalized for other people's birthday as well.

For her actual birthday, we spent the day doing fun traditional Philly things including a horse and carriage ride (first time for all of us!), light show, and a visit to the Dicken's Village topped off with a visit to Santa. She confessed to me later, "I told Santa I was good so he would bring me presents." Ever the politician, my daughter. Ooh, we also had lunch at Sabrina's.

Family came over for a pizza dinner (her request) and I made yellow cake with cream cheese frosting. She did not like the cake. At all! It was ok to me. It was a bit rough and had more of a pound cake texture. I feel this may be due to the fact that I used regular flour instead of cake flour. It was also in the fridge because I made the cake a day and a half ahead of time and didn't want to leave the cream cheese frosting out.

Overall, a great few days. My daughter is pretty awesome.

My Favorites.

2009-12-07T11:12:00.002-05:00

These are my favorite Christmas ornaments. They were made by my mom, probably before I was born. I'm not 100% certain of that, but it seems likely.

They were on our Christmas tree when I was very young. Then they disappeared from the family tree for years. I eventually acquired them and they've been apart of our tree since we've been an "us."

What's your favorite ornament? Why?

Meow.

2009-12-04T09:41:00.006-05:00

I love my cats.

There's Carlos. He's 16 years old. We got him and his brother (RIP Charlie) when they were 3. Joe got them from some one at his work. She just had a baby. Ya know, cause that's a good reason to give up cats. ANYHOW, I'm glad because those boys are the sweetest cats I've ever known. I fear that every cat that comes into my life will unfairly be compared to them. They are part Siamese and therefore talkative, cuddly and dependent upon human contact. They're the dog of cats, minus the need for walks.

When Carlos & Charlie were 6, we adopted Zelda. She was a tiny little tortie kitten who was part of a litter of three. The other two sisters were adopted out and poor little Zel was alone. I wanted her immediately. She is your typical cat. Very independent and very stand-offish. My husband tells me that if I was a cat, I'd be Zelda. So what?! Zelda will let you love her on her terms and I see nothing wrong with that.

Charlie died of kidney failure in 2007. It was a rapid decline. He's been gone almost two years and I still think about him every day. He was my buddy. During the day, Carlos & Zelda would sleep, but Charlie would be by my side. He was a master conversationalist. His meows had many vocal inflections and yes, we understood him. Charlie was on medication for the last 6 years of his life due to hyperthyroid. He got medication twice a day. Unfortunately, long-term use of the medication contributed to his kidney failure. It is sad, but the medication gave him the years that would've been denied to him if he hadn't taken it. He passed just before Christmas, 2007. On Christmas Eve morning, the then, 2 year old Abby told me that the kitty was under the tree. I figured she meant Carlos or Zelda. I saw no cat there. I asked her where the kitty was, figuring she meant one of our many cat ornaments. "There!" she said, pointing to nothing under the tree. That made me feel so happy and at peace. I knew he was still with us. Sometimes I think I see him walking up or down the steps.

It was kind of odd to only be in a house with two cats. We eventually started talking about getting another cat. What happens when Carlos passes? Zelda will be alone. We should've realized that she wouldn't care. BUT, we adopted George in August 2008. He was only weeks old and separated from his mother way too soon. The odds were stacked against him, but he selected us and we were happy to bring him home. He weighed only a single pound and we had to feed him formula.

George & Carlos have become buddies.

Zelda is a solitary girl. Everyone is happy. Georgie torments the older kitties, but Carlos is quick to put him in his place. Zelda hisses and runs. Kind like me, I guess.

Family Tree.

2009-12-03T08:43:00.002-05:00

I made a family tree from "Stitched in Time" for my husband for our 8th anniversary. In October. Yeah, I'm a little slow posting.

I usually cannot stand hand sewing, mainly because I feel like I suck at it. This was different. I enjoyed it and found myself getting into the same zen state I get into when I knit. A welcomed and unexpected treat!

I'm really happy with how it turned out. I think it's cute.

A Couple Things...

2009-12-02T09:21:00.002-05:00

1. Have you seen the movie "Pollock"? Very good movie. Excellent acting. Scary-ass mother! How come so many artists are tortured, narcissist alcoholics? This has me thinking. What makes one an artist? I can see the tormented part, but I'm not one to artistically thrive during depression or turmoil.

I am an introvert. I actually enjoy my solitary time. I feel very frustrated and angry when I do not have time to myself. I need to create every day. I do not like to be interrupted when I'm working on something. I guess I am a narcissist. That's kind of obvious and depressing.

Furthermore, what is "art"? Even furthermore, why the hell do I have to label everything?! Why can't I just be? Just create? Just experience? Ugh. I am a narcissist. I hate that.

2. Oodles and Oodles. I love this blog. I love looking at this woman's collections. Such pretty things. Most of my life adult life, I've been minimalist in decorating. Knick-knacks drove me nuts. Just something annoying to dust. I think it's in rebellion to the way my house was while growing up. Crap everywhere. Now, I've come to realize that I don't have to go in the complete opposite direction. This year has been a year of realizations for me. And, while this is a relatively trivial thing, it's what it symbolizes to me that is important.

First Day of December.

2009-12-01T09:31:00.003-05:00

I feel like I need to change the "tone" of this blog. I want to keep it active, ya know, for Heather. :) Perhaps it'll just turn into my ramblings with craftiness thrown in for the hell of it. I don't know. I also don't know why I have to define everything. It's only an effing blog.

And so, onto the rambling...
Yesterday while the kid was at school, instead of sewing or cleaning, I did nothing. And I felt guilty the entire time. I just sat on the sofa with the laptop, watched "You've Got Mail," and finished off some Hagan Daaz green tea ice cream. Yeah. I'm super lazy. Rationalization on the ice cream: my throat hurt. And I like to eat.

Oh, I did take a few cat pictures. And pictures of toothbrushes. And myself. Kinda sucky. But it is what it is.

It's Gone.

2009-11-30T14:22:00.004-05:00

Long time, no blog.
Not for lack of crafting. Not for lack of wanting. BUT, for lack of motivation. Lack of inspiration.

I wonder where my creativity would be if not for other blogs. I'm feeling unoriginal. I'm feeling so sad that my photography sucks. I recently looked at photos from two years ago and got excited. They are pretty and unique. I felt good about myself when I took them. But now, now, not so much.

I don't even feel like an artist anymore. I feel like one of the crafty sheep. Following along with the crafty masses. Knitting, sewing, blah, blah, blah. Anymore, I feel like the stuff I make isn't an extension of myself. I felt like that for awhile. And it made me feel good.

I have a need to create. I really do. But, my soul aches when there's something inside that needs to get out, but it can't make its way to the surface. I've had this feeling most of my life. Except for that brief period a couple years ago.

Needless to say, I'm a bit sad. What if my most creative time has passed? Then what? What do I have to aspire to? What will I become?

Etsy.

2009-11-23T10:19:00.002-05:00

For the life of me, I cannot figure out how to get the etsy widget in my blog. It's kind of irritating me, actually.

Anyhow, check out my shop. Yeah, I'm selling some prints, but it's mainly vintage goodies!

Canned!

2009-11-12T09:56:00.003-05:00

We went grocery shopping yesterday. I don't know why, but I tossed a box of pectin in my cart. Last year I was intrigued by canning, but was discouraged by the possibility of murdering my friends and family with improperly sterilized jars.

This year, I'm back on the kick. I've been doing some reading and asking advice on facebook. I found a recipe I want to make. Of course, now I realize that I purchased liquid pectin and this recipe calls for dry.

Food in Jars is awesome for tips. And, she's teaching a class which I'm considering, but half-assed-ly, because it doesn't fit into my "one car- crappy part time job hours- husband in school- what to do with the kiddo" schedule.

I think I'll buy one of these books. Any suggestions?

Jim Thorpe and Centralia Critique: Part III.

2009-11-11T09:00:00.004-05:00

So, we headed to Centralia. The website and even the flickr stream have pictures from just last year that show abandoned homes. I was very excited to see them and photograph them.

If we weren't looking (hard) for it, we would've driven right past it. It is completely disappointing. Where homes once stood are fields. The roads that were blocked due to cracked asphalt are now repaired and car-ready.

People tend to use the area for exercise purposes: bike riding, walking, running.

I mean, sure, it's good for the few remaining residents, but it sucks because we really wanted to see ruins. Completely and totally disappointing.

I did, however, get one picture.

Jim Thorpe and Centralia Critique: Part II.

2009-11-10T09:18:00.006-05:00

After the crappy dinner/dessert, we walked the main strip and the train station in the dark.
We then went back to our room and watched "Mad Men" and commented on how we were both hungry.

Even though the inn has a continental breakfast (I went down to get some coffee) we didn't partake. We needed to compensate for last night's atrocity. We looked through Jim Thorpe restaurants (thank the gods for free wi-fi!!!) and decided on The Albright Mansion for breakfast. It was very quaint and charming. And the food was delicious!!! WHEW! Joe got crepes with apples, walnuts, raisins and cinnamon. I decided to get something I wouldn't ordinarily get. I got an omelet with spinach, mushrooms & american cheese. Very tasty! The home fries were crispy, flavorful perfection. The whole wheat toast was a great little bite after a forkful of omelet. The coffee was fresh, delicious, and non-stop.

We walked through the town, this time in daylight. We only went in 1 shop to get Abby a little something. We were greeted by an older man who was probably hiding his white hood in the backroom. *sigh* I would've loved to go into the other shops, but Joe's back was hurting and I know he doesn't like those kind of places. SO, if anyone of my friends/family would like to go to Jim Thorpe, let's plan it!

At this point, we got into the car and took a long (not really, maybe an hour, but it seemed a lot longer because there was nothing to look at!) ride to Centralia...

...to be continued...

Jim Thorpe and Centralia Critique: Part I.

2009-11-10T08:54:00.008-05:00

We arrived at Jim Thorpe pretty quickly. In only about an hour. We stayed at the Jim Thorpe Inn and got upgraded to a suite for the same price. SUITE! (SWEET!) duh. The only bummer about this place was that the balcony was closed for repairs and I really wanted to go up there for photo-taking purposes.

We got settled in the suite and walked to Cafe Origins. There was one other party there. And only two people working in the restaurant (the chef/owner and the waitress.) We selected this restaurant based on its vegetarian options.

I got the Syrian Spinach Pie. Joe got a bean & cheese quesadilla. Mine, which had about 5 pieces of spinach and 2 strips of onion, was OK. Joe's was mediocre; nothing on the plate to even attempt to make it look appealing.

For dessert we decided on a "slice" of banana pie. Nothing was really appealing and we just chose this totally laughable item and so not worthy of a photograph. The "pie" was 1 smashed graham cracker, topped with 1 sliced banana and about 2 tablespoons of fig jam. Those items were then completely drowned in reddi-whip. Nothing about this resembled a pie. And seriously, $7 for something my almost-four-year-old daughter could concoct was ridiculous. EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTING. On the plus side, the atmosphere was nice.

Jim Thorpe, PA.

2009-11-09T09:04:00.002-05:00

Here for an overnight stay.
Ate dinner here last night. It was blah.

(poor internet connection and therefore taking forever to upload pics; and, that was the sole purpose of this post.) Ce la vie.

Hi.

2009-11-05T09:07:00.002-05:00

I was finally gearing up to write a monster blog filled with the Halloween goodies we made: green witch finger cookies, popcorn balls, and my chai with honey ginger cream birthday cake. I was going to show pictures of the Cinderella costume that was worth all the blood, sweat & tears.

I then realized that my photo editing software isn't installed on the laptop. (We had a very nasty virus on the thing that took it down for a few days.)

Oh well. Hopefully soon.

I had a very nice birthday filled with my awesome family and friends. I got a lot of gifts. Very thoughtful gifts too. I'm very lucky.

October 23. Welcome!

2009-10-23T09:07:00.003-04:00

I made this banner a couple weeks ago. I finally took a picture of it. It's based on Alicia Paulson's birthday banner in her book "Stitched in Time." I made a welcome sign because I just wanted to do a practice banner before I made one for Abby's birthday. It's a quick, simple sew. The most time-consuming and tedious part was cutting out the letters. I blame that on the fact that I couldn't find the straight edge and had to use my rotary cutter.

The bias tape that I used was too narrow (that was a pain in the butt too), but I knew that going in. I just wanted to use up some of my stash and the colors worked well. Also, everything (except the thread and the fabric used for the letters "L" and "M") were thrift finds!

Last night I finished up a hand sewing (yes, I said hand sewing) project from this book. No pictures yet because I'm giving it to my husband for our 8th anniversary.

October 22. Broccoli Soup.

2009-10-22T09:44:00.007-04:00

I felt like making soup yesterday even though the weather was warmer than I'd like for this time of year.

I decided upon SouleMama's broccoli soup since Abby loves broccoli. We went to the local produce store and hooked ourselves up with broccoli, potatoes, red onion, and leeks. We stopped at the next store to buy bread.

We came home and got to chopping.

I found it odd that there weren't really any spices or seasoning. I figured (hoped) that the onion and leeks would take care of the flavor. Nope. It was so bland tasting to me. I added salt. And more salt. Then some sharp cheddar. Then I remembered that I had vegetable soup base and tossed in around 1/4c of that. Much better.

I used fat-free half and half instead of the heavy cream. I was expecting a thicker soup. It was very thin and brothy. Abby was unimpressed. Joe doesn't eat broccoli.

It may be better if velveeta was added to it. I don't know. What I do know is that I have what seems to be gallons of broccoli soup for myself. *sigh*

An Awesome Thrifty Find!

2009-10-19T10:44:00.006-04:00

During work on Saturday, I hit up Impact!

No cool sewing notions. No nice fabric. Crappy, fugly patterns. Before leaving, I decided to check out the books. I've gotten cool books from there before including a like-new Sunbeam mixer manual from the 1950s.

I was so excited when I saw this book peeking out from underneath torn up craft magazines. I quickly grabbed it and dashed to the counter. I didn't want anyone to intercept my ninety-six cent purchase!

This book is just so beautiful. It's in great condition, the directions are clear, the artwork is perfectly late-forties. I'm in love with this book. I keep perusing it and touching it. I want a glass case for it. (Half-kidding.)

The copyright is 1949. I scanned a few pages.

Tips on refashioning:

Hats! I love these hats!

And I just love the sketches!

October 13. Leaf Projects.

2009-10-13T09:49:00.005-04:00

Since we (I) collected so many leaves the other day during our walk through the park, I was trying to think of crafts to do with them.

I came up with the idea for a place mat (using clear contact paper),

and that then inspired a window decoration.

I really don't know how long they'll last (probably just the season), but they're pretty.

If we do it again next year, I'll probably trim the stems from the leaves since that kind of prevents the clear contact paper from bonding together. Also, overlapping the leaves isn't a good idea for the same reason.

October 12. Walk in the Woods.

2009-10-12T09:10:00.002-04:00

Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile.

William Cullen Bryant

October 9. Pumpkin Buns.

2009-10-09T10:11:00.002-04:00

I'm not a fan of those "woman's" magazines (with the exception of "Bust"). I prefer house, craft, or cooking magazines. BUT, when I'm in work and it's S L O W, I'll read anything. "Rod and Reel"? Why not?! "Men's Health"? Pass it my way!
That's how I came upon this recipe for pumpkin buns. A co-worker brings in her "Family Circle" and"Woman's Day" mags. I'm a sucker for any magazine with pumpkins or Halloween items on the cover.

I photocopied the recipe a few weeks ago and finally decided to make it yesterday. I didn't have to work and Abby didn't have school. There was time for this recipe... finally. Then I realized I finished up my butter on the snickerdoodles. I used Promise Light spread. Worked well and cut back fat. That's good. I added some cinnamon & nutmeg to the dough. Then I realized I was out of 10x sugar for the glaze. Boo! BUT, I did have cream cheese, so I blended that with about an 1/8c granulated sugar and a splash of milk. That worked well and probably canceled out the usage of the Promise Light.

The first rise took awhile, longer than the recipe-stated 75 minutes. I just left it for 2+ hours. It rose nicely. We rolled out the dough and added the filling (added a bit of nutmeg to this too). Rolled it and sliced it and let it rise again. They looked beautiful!

While they were baking my house smelled divine! When they cooled a bit, I smeared the cream cheese topping on them and served them to some of the neighborhood kids since one of them came in for a bit and smelled them and promptly asked for one! They were a delicious success. Time-consuming, but tasty. Admittedly, the pumpkin flavor was kind of lacking. The pumpkin gave the finished buns a nice orange hue, but left a very mild pumpkin flavor. The filling was good, but I guess I'm greedy because I wanted more filling!

Unfortunately, I do not have a photo of the finished product because my husband, ever vigilant about the potential for ants, put them in the fridge and now they look kind of gross. I'm sure their texture changed as well. Oh well. At least I had one yesterday.

October 8. Hair Decor.

2009-10-08T09:53:00.003-04:00

I've been making barrettes lately. I found an awesome tutorial and have been really enjoying making these. I need to put some on my etsy shop.

October 6. Snickerdoodles.

2009-10-07T09:24:00.003-04:00

Well, that daily posting was shot to hell. Two reasons, I don't really have time to blog on the weekends and then my husband had to take the laptop to work. So, oh well. Here's a post.

Yesterday, in an attempt to stop my daughter from watching TV, I suggested making cookies. We decided on snickerdoodles. Instead of looking on the internet (no laptop, remember?) I looked in my cookbooks! The Joy of Cooking had a simple recipe. It's a basic butter cookie (with cream of tartar, which is *supposed* to help items rise) rolled in cinnamon-sugar.

The cookies are super flat, but good. I think they could use more cinnamon. Next time, I'll add cinnamon to the dry ingredients as well as rolling the cookie in it. Actually, I'd also decrease the amount of sugar that the cookie is rolled in. I wanted the cookie to be thicker and spicier.

October 2. Creamy Butternut Squash Soup.

2009-10-02T11:20:00.004-04:00

I had no intention of making soup until my sister walked in my house with two butternut squash that she wasn't going to use.
SOUP TIME!

I looking at my usual recipe site (Cooking Light) and I saw this soup. Seemed simple, but kind of bland. I read the reviews and saw that some one used evaporated milk. I just happened to have evaporated skim milk in my cabinet. I just decided to wing it and came up with my own recipe. It's delicious!

I wanted to top it with homemade croutons, but instead spent most of the afternoon outside and therefore didn't have time. I did, however, make parmesan crisps. All you have to do for that is sprinkle shredded parm cheese in a hot pan and let it brown. Lift it up off the pan before it burns and let it cool.

Creamy Butternut Squash Soup

2 medium butternut squash
1c 1% milk
1 can of evaporated skim milk
2 14oz cans of vegetable broth
1/4 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp dried rosemary
dash of cinnamon
dash of paprika
dash of chile powder
olive oil
salt & pepper to taste

Cut butternut squash into 1" cubes. Toss with olive oil, sea salt, dried rosemary & cinnamon. Roast at 425 degrees for 50 minutes.
Let cool.

Combine milks, 1 can of vegetable broth.

Add roasted squash and milk mixture in the blender to thoroughly combine ( should be done in 3-4 batches. Or use an immersion blend if you're lucky enough to have one!)

When all is combined, pour into large pot and slowly add the second can of vegetable broth. If too thick for your liking, add more broth or water. Stir in ginger (don't skip this, it really adds a great depth of flavor!), paprika, chile powder, salt & pepper. Simmer and top with croutons and/or parmesan crisps. Enjoy!

October 1. Orange & Yellow.

2009-10-01T17:42:00.002-04:00

"Just before the death of flowers,
And before they are buried in snow,
There comes a festival season
When nature is all aglow."
- Author Unknown

Almost October!

2009-09-30T09:16:00.004-04:00

October is my absolute favorite month. I love the weather, the crunchy leaves underfoot and the colors.

Halloween is my favorite season. It's not the specific day or because it's my birthday. Truth be told, having a Halloween birthday as a parent kinda sucks. I love the spooky (not tacky) decor.

Two years ago, I was doing the 365 project. 1 self-portrait a day for 365 days. For the month of October, I did all Halloween/Autumn inspired photos.

This year, I want to do something similar with my blog. Recipes, crafts, photos, etc. This is a challenge I am giving myself. My goal is a blog a day.

Happy October Eve!

Soup!

2009-09-29T12:54:00.003-04:00

I'm really making an effort to lose weight. Seriously. It's difficult to not get discouraged, especially since I strictly followed Weight Watchers for a week and lost NOTHING. Because of that, I said "eff it" and at kind of crappily yesterday. Now to pick up and start over. One day of mourning allowed.

So, since I need to go grocery shopping and there's nothing really low-points to eat in the house (or any points, for that matter!) I found a recipe that would work.

I found this recipe last week. I made it this morning and at it for lunch. Me & Abby took a walk to get some good Italian bread to complete the meal.

Since I didn't have fresh rosemary, I just used dried. I also skipped the fresh herb mix-in and sour cream at the end. It didn't really matter because the soup is so good! My daughter ate a lot of it! This is good news. She asked for more for dinner!

Crafty Wish List.

2009-09-25T08:57:00.008-04:00

*these are not my photos and are linked back to the proper source.

1. Shrinky Dink Printer Paper.

I just think this looks fun! I wanna try to make earrings. Jemaine Clement earrings, anyone?! Or I can act all clever and esoteric and make Ambrose Bierce earrings. Don't think I wouldn't. I totally would. And I'd smugly wear them. Check out t his cool etsy shop and see what she did with them.

2. A serger.

This would make my sewing so much more professional looking. And plus, they're fun to use. And I wouldn't have to go back after I was done sewing a seam and do another row with my overlock stitch. *sigh* A girl can dream, right?

3. Interchangeable Knitting Needles.

I have a lot of knitting needles. I have a lot of yarn. It seems that whenever I want to start a project, I never have the right combination of the two. This would greatly reduce that problem... at least, I think it would.

4. A Walking Foot.

This would make quilting so much easier. And I'll fool myself and say that I'd make more (and better quality) quilts if I had one. No really, I would. I swear...

5. An entire craft room. Decorated how I want. All to myself.

1. My creative space, 2. Fabric storage, 3. Plate rack o' fun, 4. My sewing corner and the board with its old boring cover

This is not my room. (Go here to see her entire set.) I wish it was. I love everything about it. The red/aqua color combination. The excess amounts of crafty things! I know that my husband would hate everything I love about this room.

I'm sure I'm missing a ton of things, but these are the main ones, right now. I'm sure more things will be added as I peruse etsy and various crafty blogs. Except the room. Oh yes, I want my own room.

5-7-5

2009-09-22T09:35:00.004-04:00

Welcome, autumn air!
Pumpkins, apples, fallen leaves.
My seasonal bliss.

Shrug.

2009-09-16T09:18:00.007-04:00

Inspired by a post on wardrobe refashion (sorry, don't feel like finding the actual post!), and following the ridiculously simple directions here, I made a shrug from an old-shirt.

Ew. I need to clean the mirror.

I hate it.

I believe this is because:
1. The shirt isn't big enough. I think if the t-shirt were larger, it would look better.
2. The pattern on the t-shirt is off-putting.
3. I used pink (ew!) binding as the drawstring.
4. It accentuates my boobs too much.

In conclusion:
I will definitely try this again because it's too damn easy not to! Very little effort is involved. I will try a bulkier, solid-colored shirt. I will find/make a drawstring in a color that I actually like.
~
I started to knit myself a simple sweater. I casted on and knitted a few rows. George the cat had other plans. I have yet to start over.

(Not so) Tiny Dancer.

2009-09-09T12:01:00.003-04:00

My daughter starts dance class on Saturday. She has everything she needs: ballet slippers, tap shoes, a leotard, and stockings. All she needed was a cute little bag to carry her shoes in.
That was my job!

I sketched a ballet shoe and her initial. I then transferred it to thrifted fabric (used the taping to window technique) and then embroidered the design and then constructed a simple tote. I am quite please with how it turned out.

Added bonus: everything (except the thread to sew the bag together) was purchased at a thrift store!

This Weekend's Loot.

2009-09-08T11:11:00.005-04:00

$8.00 for a plastic storage box full of sewing stuff! The box was taped up, so I couldn't really dig through to see what was in there, but it looked so cool, I had to have it!

Snap fastener. Pretty cool. It's a lot more sturdy than the crappy plastic ones that they sell now. Also, there are a ton of sew on snaps in this container!

These are sewing needles. I just love the artwork.

Elastic cord. Again, just really like the art.
Lots and lots of binding, and ric-rac.

The Pledge.

2009-09-01T10:14:00.002-04:00

I, Jaime Avon, pledge that I shall abstain from the purchase of "new" manufactured items of clothing, for the period of 2 months. I pledge that i shall refashion, renovate, recycle preloved items for myself with my own hands in fabric, yarn or other medium for the term of my contract. I pledge that I will share the love and post a photo of my refashioned, renovoted, recycled, crafted or created item of clothing on the Wardrobe Refashion blog, so that others may share the joy that thy thriftiness brings! Signed JMA.

A Wearable Top for Me!

2009-09-01T09:45:00.011-04:00

This is a very easy pattern. I'm ashamed to say that it took me a bit longer than it should have. I made a version of this top before, but didn't like how it turned out, mainly due to the type of fabric. Like the last time, the top is a smaller size than the bottom. I am a true pear-shape!

This time, I used a regular knit fabric that I bought at a thrift store about a year ago. It's bright pink. Nothing I'd ordinarily wear, nor buy. BUT, it was like $1 for 2 yards. How could I not buy it? I'm glad I did because I really like the way it turned out.

Ordinarily, I would have added several inches to the bottom. I like my shirts long. I forgot this time, so I just compensated by adding some split panels at the bottom. I don't think it looks too bad. (Yes, I know there's lots of stray threads that need to be clipped.)

I am a bit bummed, however, that the washable ink that I used to mark pattern points did not thoroughly wash out. That is really disappointing, but I'm still wearing this shirt, dammit!

PS. I also would like to mention that today is September 1st. This marks the start of my two-month refashion pledge. That means, no shopping for *new* clothes! All clothing must be thrifted and/or refashioned. I'm excited!

ETA: I didn't hem the bottom, just used the overlock stitch on my machine.

PPS. Happy 6th anniversary to my awesome friends HLM & CPM.

Unlikely Trio.

2009-08-31T10:21:00.004-04:00

Inspired by a recipe in the new Cooking Light, I decided to make a Lemon-Lavender Olive Oil cake. The original recipe is Lemon-Rosemary Olive Oil cake. I didn't have any fresh rosemary, but still have a lot of lavender left over from last year. I was intrigued by the use of olive oil in a cake instead of vegetable oil or butter.

Despite the unique ingredients, this cake is quite mediocre. There's a small amount of lavender flavor, but not enough to make it outstanding. The lemon flavor is barely there and the olive oil flavor is non-existent. I guess you have to have olive oil in the title of the recipe since it's such an unusual cake ingredient, but it really shouldn't be there because if you didn't tell me olive oil was in the cake, I never would have guessed.

Needless to say, it was a disappointment. I may try it again, this time using rosemary and a lot more lemon.

Refashioned.

2009-08-28T09:57:00.005-04:00

The other day I cleaned out and organized my daughter's closet. I donated most of her clothes, but decided to attempt a wearable refashion on a few pieces.

Two long sleeve shirts to make into short sleeve shirts and 1 dress that she wore (and loved) at her birthday party last year. It's long sleeve, and kind of tight now at the top.

The shirt were easy. Simply cut the sleeves. I didn't even hem them, just used an overlock stitch. I really like how it turned out. I put on some sparkly iron-on hearts on one shirt, and an applique (that cut off of another of her shirts that was stained beyond salvation) on the other.

If the child would stay still for more than 1.5 seconds, the photos would be better.

I simply detached the top of the dress from the bottom and added an elastic waistband. Voila! A skirt that she loves.

PS. I'm pretty sure my blog is one-year old today.

A New Hobby.

2009-08-26T08:52:00.006-04:00

Because I guess I just don't have enough!

It's a snow-ball effect and this is how my fiber-related hobbies began: cross-stitch, knitting, sewing, quilting, and now... embroidery.

I've been looking at kits from Sublime Stitching for some time. Then, a couple weeks ago, I just did it. I bought the Cat-A-Rama pattern. I mean, it's only $5, why was I hesitating!?

I enjoy embroidery because:
1. Instant satisfaction (it works up pretty quickly.)
2. You can decide which stitch you want to use.
3. Pretty colors! Embroidery floss is inexpensive, so you can build up a stash rather swiftly.

This is the first one I did.

It came out OK. Not spectacular, but pretty cute. What am I gonna do with it? Not sure. Maybe make an apron pocket out of it.

This is the second one. I don't love it. I think I should decrease the strands I'm using. I really have no clue what to do with this one. Probably just let it lay around for years until I decide to throw it out and then a few weeks after I toss it, realize that I have the perfect usage for it.

Apologies for the crappy photos. But see what I mean about the thread thickness? Look at this poor guy's totally indiscernible face.

~
Last night was dead in work, so I walked over to my favorite thrift store. I picked up a bag of embroidery floss for $1.

And then after my sushi dinner with my sister, we stopped at AC Moore and I bought this for $6, marked down from $10.99. Cool!

Thoughts of Summer.

2009-08-25T10:46:00.003-04:00

Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language. ~Henry James

The older I get, the less tolerance I have for the summer heat. Scratch that, it's the humidity. It's very humid and the more humid it gets, the crankier I become. I don't like sweating. I love the cool comfort of air-conditioning.

I have memories of playing with the hose on my patio. I still love the smell of the first gush of water sizzling on the hot cement. That is the smell of my childhood summers. After getting wet with the hose, I'd come in, go into my bedroom, peel off the bathing suit and slide into some dry clothes. My skin felt cool and the clothes felt warm.

I'd go into the air-conditioned living room, lay down on the rug and watch TV (probably "The Brady Bunch). The air was so cold, sometimes a blanket would be required. It was so soothing and so comforting. Perfect contentment, especially if something delicious was wafting through the air.

I also remember summers at my grandparents' house. Nana & Poppop. In my childhood mind, the backyard was enormous! There was a little pool for me and my cousin. There was a marigold yellow dishpan for us to dip our feet in prior to entering the pool to avoid stray grass from invading.

After the pool, we'd put on sundresses and sit in their air-conditioned living room. We'd get refrigerated m&m's in blue or green plastic cups and crunch on them while watching TV. To this day, I prefer my m&m's cold.

My grandfather had a full vegetable garden. I loved picking cucumbers and biting carrots fresh out of the ground. They tasted so sweet. I imagine the flavor has become enhanced in my memory over time, but that's OK. They were the best carrots I've ever eaten. My grandfather still has a vegetable garden, although it is at a different house. And now, I watch my daughter help him pluck tomatoes and cucumbers from their stems.

I guess I'm just feeling reminiscent today and contemplating what my daughter's childhood summer memories will be. I hope they are full of fun, adventures, and air-conditioning.

Kitchen Wish List. From Basic to Extravagant.

2009-08-24T10:47:00.010-04:00

These photos aren't mine. All pictures are linked back to the original source.

1. Food Processor.Seriously, isn't it odd that I don't have one of these? I want one. I've made due without one by using my blender. But seriously, you can't make pie crust in a blender. Yes, I use the manual cutter thing, but not having a food processor is almost embarrassing.

2. Grill Pan.

Quorn cutlets would be pretty sweet on this! Corn on the cob would be too. Or Boca burgers. Or paninis!

3. Mortar & Pestle.

I don't really know *why* I want one. I just do. Oh wait, to grind up some herbs. Yeah, that's why.

4. Pasta Roller Attachment.

I want to try to make my own pasta. $150 seems like a lot of money just to try something, though. I wish I knew some one who had one, just so I could try it out.

5. Cupcake Carrier.

I don't think an explanation is needed. It's just super practical.

6. Cake Dome.

OK, I don't really need one of these, but I'd like one; preferably vintage. It's charming.

7. Rotating cake stand.

Would be a lot easier to frost cakes.

8. Cake server.

I should really have one of these. It's ridiculous that I don't.

Rose the Fairy.

2009-08-21T09:47:00.004-04:00

We're still getting visits from Rose the Fairy in her daytime butterfly disguise. We say hello and wave. Often she waves back with her wings. I have to say, I'm thoroughly enjoying my second childhood.

Easy as Pie.

2009-08-20T09:22:00.006-04:00

I have a confession. It's difficult to admit. It's kind of embarrassing as well. Please don't think any less of me.

OK.

Here goes...

I suck at making fruit pies. There. I said it. *looking down at feet*

Seriously. I've never found a crust recipe that tastes good to me. There is never enough filling and/or it's too runny. The crust gets soggy. I want to be good at making pies. They seem so comforting. And so simple. I don't have a family recipe for fruit pies either, which kind of makes me sad. Now, if you need an heirloom poundcake recipe, or a cheese pie recipe, or a cookie recipe, then look no further, I've got you covered.

Where am I going with this? Well, I had about 8 about to rot peaches. (sounds yummy, right?) But seriously, they were so sweet, too soft for me to want to just eat them. So, I went to epicurious.com for a recipe for anything peach-related that didn't involve milk (none in the house) or eggs (still in my mother's fridge). Pie! Ooh. Look at this pie recipe! Sounds good and a little different! No bottom crust to get soggy! The reviews say how easy it is! I have cardamom! Serendipity!

So, Abby and I started with the crust (after warning her that pie crust must chill in the fridge for 7 years... that's the pre-school equivalent of 1 hr.). Things were going swimmingly. Ooh, and the raw dough is very tasty! This is going to be the perfect summer's evening dessert.

We work on the filling. I'm thinking I may not have enough peaches, so I added a mango. Same color and equally as sweet. I'm so creative! We smell the cardamom and declare it wonderful.

Finally the pie crust is ready to roll out. The child does this (with some help from me) and she expertly cuts out little hearts with a cookie cutter.

After consulting with my friend and expert apple pie baker, we conclude just to sprinkle the crust with water (remember, out of milk & eggs) to make the raw sugar stick to the crust. No biggie.

The pie comes out of the oven. My house smells pretty damn delicious. This will be so good!!!

After everyone was in bed (my husband went to bed early and my daughter had Mr. Softee for dessert), I cut myself a slice of the pie.

The result: Meh.

The crust, well the crust was delicious. I will keep this crust recipe. The filling was scanty and reminiscent of baby food laced with perfume. The cardamom just didn't do it for me. Too much, or just not the right spice for me. I think allspice would have been perfect. I would normally say, "Oh well, next time." But, I'm pretty sure there won't be a next time. Hey, at least it's pretty!

Kinda Vegan Cupcakes.

2009-08-18T08:58:00.003-04:00

I bought a dozen and a half eggs while I was at the grocery store getting the dinner supplies me and my sister needed to make dinner at my mom's house. Me & Abby were going to do some baking! She had the baking itch, and I kinda did as well. I planned on going through the Martha Stewart Living from February which featured a ton of awesome cupcake recipes. I made one awhile back and was looking forward to trying something less complicated, but just as delicious.

And then I left my mom's house and the eggs in her fridge. *sigh*

So, out comes the good ol' "Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World." I swear, that is the greatest cupcake book ever! I wanted to try the chai latte cupcakes, but the three-year-old won. She just wanted chocolate cupcakes, so that's what we made.

I didn't feel like making frosting, so I decided to dip some super delicious and sweet strawberries into those freakishly unnatural candy wafers that are sold at the craft stores. (I have a lot left over from the shower cake I made last month.) I topped the cupcakes with the dipped strawberries and viola! A delicious Abby-pleasing cupcake.

Flower Power.

2009-08-17T14:02:00.009-04:00

My mind is continually spinning thinking up different ideas for stuff to do with the child; it's quite the challenge, really. Today while making coffee, I decided it would be a good idea to do something with coffee filters. I mean, it's a pretty awesome craft supply because they're cheap and you can get 10,000 for like .40. Well, not really, but I'm feeling hyperbolic today.

So, we went outside in the horrific August-is-here-in-Philly-and-it's-kicking-everyone's-butt weather, and sprayed coffee filters with water. We then painted them with water colors and let them dry. It didn't take long in the heat. We then assembled flowers.

Fun craft. Playing with water outside. Sweat dripping down neck and back. Time to go inside to the air-conditioning.

To make the flowers:
1. Insert a pipe cleaner (I guess green would be the appropriate color since it's supposed to be a stem; but in our house, we get visits from fairies, so any color will do. We used pink.) in two just-off-center spots of the coffee filter. One side should be longer than the other. The shorter side should be about 1" or so.
2. Twist the small part of the pipe cleaner around the longer side a couple of times.

3. Gather the bit of the coffee filter that is attached to the pipe cleaner and wrap the pipe cleaner up a bit. (You're kind of making the stamen of the flower.) I know this sentence if completely unclear, but I'm not sure how else to word it!)

4. All finished!

Thought for the Day.

2009-08-17T10:21:00.002-04:00

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. ~Wesley Bates

Fairy Cottage.

2009-08-13T09:50:00.004-04:00

Yesterday as I was cleaning up breakfast, the child asks, "Now what?!" It was 9:30am. My mind quickly scans our usual non-TV activities: painting, coloring, drawing, matching games, candy land, gluing things to other things. These things usually last about 10 minutes (at most) each. *sigh*

I don't know where this thought came from, and oddly, it was coming out of my mouth even before my brain realized it was: "Let's make a fairy house!" And so we did. We went outside and collected twigs, pinecones, the spiny parts of the coneflowers, pieces of bark, and acorns. Inside, we gathered an old birdhouse (that oddly enough, I decorated with fairies a few years back), feathers, pompoms, glitter glue, paint, ribbon and beads. (The perk of being a crafty collector is that you have all this cool stuff laying around!)

I was surprised when the outside collection process lasted about 45 minutes. During this time we were wondering what color fairies like, and what they eat. I could not believe she was so into this!

As she started to paint the house, I burned the tips of my fingers off with the glue gun while applying twigs. She painted little rocks and I (more carefully) glued them on. She used the glitter glue to attach the pom poms and ribbon. This took just about an hour! A record!!!

We wrote a letter to the fairies. Happily, this morning we found a letter from a fairy named Rose. She thanked Abby for the beautiful cottage and asked her if she could move in some of her stuff. Rose also told us her friends' names: Lily, Daisy, Persephone & Violet.

We were suprised to find out that fairies disguise themselves as butterflies during the day! Who knew!? Yesterday we actually touched Rose's yellow & black wing as she was feeding on our butterfly bush. Rose commented that she liked it when we pet her.

Abby was very upset that the Rose & her friends didn't stay around for her to see her. We'll write her another letter tonight and hopefully she'll give us an explanation.

Thoughts.

2009-08-10T08:45:00.004-04:00

Sometimes (all the time) I think too much. I can easily dwell on things that I don't like about my life: my weight, my lack of money, my family crisis (not to sound cryptic, but those of you who know me, know the situation).

When you open your eyes and the first thing your husband tells you is the balance of your checking account, and you already realized that you have to email some one back about when he can see his grandchild, and last night you realized that you weigh almost as much as you did before you lost 56 lbs., it makes your mind feel heavy and your heart ache. You feel as if, if another person says something even remotely snide, your eyes will well with tears.

And then you decide to look at pictures and you see pure joy. You realize you're a damn drama queen and that it's possible to be gloriously happy just swinging on a swing.

Adapted.

2009-08-04T09:22:00.005-04:00

Last summer I made a polenta tomato tart from the Whole Foods website. It was pretty good. A light summer dinner. I was going to make it again last night. Then I went to the grocery store and refused to pay $7.99 for sun-dried tomatoes. And then were out of basil.

I adapted. I created a polenta caramelized balsamic-rosemary onion tomato and goat cheese tart. It was delicious.

Polenta Caramelized Balsamic-Rosemary Onion, Tomato and Goat Cheese Tart

Polenta (I used pre-made polenta that I crumbled and smooshed into a greased tart pan)
2 large onions
4 oz crumbled goat cheese
3-4 plum tomatoes (seeded and diced)
olive oil
pat of butter/margarine
1-2 garlic cloves
2-3 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1/8c sugar
spring of fresh rosemary
sea salt & pepper

Preheat oven to 350.

Crumble and smoosh prepared polenta into a greased tart pan. Splash some olive oil on top and sprinkle with sea salt. Bake for 20-30 minutes until a little golden brown.

While polenta is baking, thinly slice onions and saute in pan with sea salt, olive oil and pat of butter. As onions start to sweat, add sugar, balsamic vinegar, and rosemary that is removed from stem. Continue to cook onions until they are a rich brown color and the vinegar has evaporated. (About 20-30 mintues)

When polenta is golden, remove from oven and spread caramelized onions over top. Sprinkle goat cheese on top of onions and then layer with diced tomatoes and freshly pressed (or chopped) garlic. Drizzle with olive oil and put in oven for 10-15 minutes.

Let sit for 10 minutes. Serve and enjoy with a fresh salad!

Gelato-Fabulous.

2009-08-03T21:21:00.004-04:00

I've been wanting to make some ice cream. Actually, I've been wanting to make peanut butter, banana, honey ice cream, since my recent favorite snack is Wasa crackers with natural crunchy peanut butter, honey drizzled on top of that, and then sliced banana on top of it all. I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm changing. I used to not like peanut butter, now I can't get enough. I used to intake about 8 splendas a day, now more than 1 and I get nausea and a headache. I know. Don't say it. I'm getting older.
Anyhow, since my daughter doesn't like peanut butter, I didn't make it. On a whim, I went to the epicurious website and searched on gelato. Lots of delicious things came up, but this one caught my attention, mainly because I had everything but the chocolate & the whole milk.
It was a time consuming process, but very much worth it, if not for the end-result gelato, but for the realization that, if you don't put the mixture in the ice cream maker, you have a kick-ass nutella-flavored pudding. The possibilities!!! Cream pies, a dollop (I hate that word) over strawberries, or just not-so-plain old chocolate pudding. YUM!

Life.

2009-07-31T10:39:00.002-04:00

I've come to realize that little things make me happy: a tablecloth on the kitchen table, using my little juice glasses for orange juice, a loaf of homemade bread, a bowl with cherries on and in it, blueberries in my fridge, and seeing my daughter interact with others, watching her individuality bloom.

As a mother, I am constantly on the look out for her safety and well-being, while both correcting her when she misbehaves, and guiding her with proper social skills. (those who know me can go ahead and laugh and the last thing.) Sometimes (all the time) it's difficult to let her be her own person. You have to decide if you're correcting a misguided behavior or hindering her personality. When I send her to her room for not listening and get frustrated with her for saying, "NO!" to me, I try to remember that she's an individual. She's unique. And seriously, wouldn't it bug the hell out of me if some one constantly told me when, where, and what to do? Yes, it would. I know it would because I can vividly remember being annoyed with my parents for this. The circle of life, I suppose.

Abby's Apron.

2009-07-30T09:57:00.004-04:00

I made this during the winter and never took pictures of it. The fabric was purchased at a thrift store. I love the little applique pocket.

It's the Little Things.

2009-07-29T09:44:00.002-04:00

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
~Leonardo daVinci

Cinnamon Raisin Bread.

2009-07-28T09:41:00.004-04:00

I bought some yeast the other day with the intention of making some whole wheat sandwich bread. After some internet searches, I came upon this cinnamon raisin bread. It's a quick bread and therefore doesn't require yeast. Ah well.I did alter it some. I used 1% cow's milk because some one finished up "mommy's milk" (light vanilla soy) with her Life cereal. I also used agave nectar instead of maple syrup. I also tossed the raisins in some cinnamon. I also skipped the nuts. The bread is tasty. And the house smelled wonderful... I got my first glimpse (sniff?) of autumn and got a little giddy. After the bread cooled, Abby & I had a half a slice each. I said, "Seems a bit chewy." She said, "It's supposed to be." And I realized she was right. It was more of a bread texture then the texture I thought it should be (banana bread-kinda-cakey-texture). In total, Abby had 2 1/2 pieces yesterday. I had 1 1/2. We put some butter on it and it was delicious!
A bonus: Super low in fat! Since I skipped the nuts (Abby doesn't like them) it only has 1 gram of fat per serving. Actually, it's probably less since the recipe cuts the loaf into 8 servings... we're getting more than that from the loaf.

Farmers' Market.

2009-07-27T11:36:00.003-04:00

I have been wanting to go the the Headhouse Farmers' Market for quite some time. Years, really. It's not much effort to get there, but it's an effort to find parking (except Heather drove and we found a super close spot!), it's an effort to go out on a Sunday morning when it's the only day my husband can sleep in, it's an effort to decide whether or not it's worth the guilt of having him wake up early and stay with the child or worth the frustration of taking her to a crowded place riddled with hipsters sporting their canvas totes. *sigh* I think too much, don't I?

So, this Sunday, after bombarding Heather with Facebook notes and text messages on Saturday, we went at 10am. It was not as crowded as I had pictured it in my head. Maybe because a lot of people are on vacation, or maybe since I over-dramatize everything in my head, the crowd was manageable. Sure, there were the pet parents and the human parents both with their appropriate gear. And then trendy rich people. And the trendy poor people. You can discern the difference in the amount of hair on face/head.

I was going to bring my camera. I was. I was going to bring my lenses and take great crowd shots and pictures of colorful, ripe fruit. But then I thought, I'm not gonna wanna lug the camera bag around the massive crowd (my over-active, paranoid imagination at work) so I just decided to bring my small camera that I can just toss in my bag and be done with it. But I forgot it. And so, I mentally slapped myself on the wrist a gazillion times as I saw a ton of photographs that weren't taken with my camera, only with my mind. The thing about mental pictures is that they can't be shared with others. Oh well, next time. And there will be a next time, I assure you.

The pictures had to wait until I got home. I'll admit, I bought those colorful carrots with the intent of photographing. I mean, look at them, they're beautiful! Who would've thought I would ever say that about a carrot?! I mean, really!

Hats Off!

2009-07-22T21:13:00.002-04:00

I made a hat. It was pretty easy. Fairly quick. I used all the proper things: canvas fabric, hair canvas for the lining. I never used hair canvas before. It serves its purpose, but I think next time, I'll just use a medium-to-heavy weight interfacing. The hair canvas kinda made me itchy. And plus, ew, it's got HAIR in it.

The hat was made for my sister, at her request to resemble the hat Samantha wore in the SATC movie. The only resemblance, really, is that it is black and white. I couldn't find a similar fabric design, and, since this was my first hat-making experience, I didn't want to alter the pattern and make the brim any wider that the pattern called for.

I intend to make myself a hat too. I'll even embellish mine with some ribbon. SNAZZY!

Cakes.

2009-07-21T11:46:00.005-04:00

The weekend was full of baking.
On Friday, I spent the majority of the day baking and preparing the decorations for my cousin's girlfriend's shower cake.
I finally used the chocolate decoration ideas from The Whimsical Bakehouse. I love that book. The recipes are delicious (I used the chocolate chip pound cake recipe from the book, but my own cream cheese frosting recipe) and the pictures are lovely. Many compliments on the cake. That made me happy.

On Sunday I made a banana cake (from the same book). The cake itself was good. The filling was OK. It was supposed to be french custard, but it just wasn't coming together properly. The frosting was a heart patient's bane. Chocolate chips, heavy cream, butter, and corn syrup. I didn't even use the full amount of butter called for ( 2 1/2 sticks!!!) because it just seemed wrong. Everything assembled was good, but next time, the banana cake with either be sprinkled with powdered sugar or topped regular chocolate frosting.

Thrifty Finds.

2009-07-11T15:13:00.002-04:00

Lots and lots of fabric! (Some not pictured includes over 3 yards of a nice tweed fabric.)
I know, I know, the below is horrificly tacky, so how could I resist?!
The below is my favorite! Love the color combo and the vintage Christmas theme. No clue what I'm gonna do with it, but I *had* to have it! (It was only like .75!)

And cute decor for my kitchen.

Muffins.

2009-07-02T12:14:00.005-04:00

So I had some overripe bananas. Was thinking about making a banana cake. With butterscotch custard filling. And chocolate glaze. Then I realized, who the hell feels like doing all that in the spur of the moment? Not me.
I was gonna go the banana bread route, but took a detour when I decided muffins would be a better choice to bring to work.
I used the "Joy of Cooking" recipe. Eh. I didn't put nuts in it because the child doesn't care for nuts. It needs them. I put in mini chocolate chips (2/3c) that was a good addition. The banana flavor (3 bananas) was lacking. I knew I should've used the 4th one. Oh well. Next time.

Thanks, Kathryn Ivy.

2009-07-01T14:03:00.003-04:00

Last summer I made Abby a summerlin dress. It was very cute, but quickly became misshapen courtesy of the yarn and her incessant need to pull and tug on the straps. It was pointed out that I should probably change the yarn I was using. So, last week, I finally got my butt to Rosie's and picked up the recommended Rowan "Calmer" yarn. Very pretty. Very soft. Very unlikely it will be stretched out of shape (due to the quality of yarn and the child being another year older.)

The fabric was purchased at a thrift store awhile ago. I was drawn to it because it reminded me of sheets my parents used to have when I was little. Freaky 70s flower patterns rock. (Or so I tell myself to make myself seem cool and not outdated.)

Freezer Paper Fun!

2009-06-30T12:05:00.005-04:00

I bought freezer paper awhile ago. I bought fabric (screen printing) ink/paint even longer ago. A few weeks ago, 2 unflattering, shapeless t-shirts were purchased in shades of purple and pink (surprise, surprise.)

This morning after art class, I decided it was time to actually do something with these items. It was a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to doing more (flattering) shirts. Maybe even some for myself!
Abby just wanted to make a square so I used a tile. I made a stencil of one of those cheap wooden cut outs. It turned out really cool, but of course, since I can never leave anything alone, I had to exercise my 1980s puff-paint techniques. Why do I have puff paint? Well, I don't know. I just do. Accept it. I went a little too far with the puff paint, but it's good enough for a child's sleep shirt, no?

Father's Day!

2009-06-22T09:27:00.011-04:00

First off, I have to apologize for the mish-mash organization of the photos...it's just not working out today, but I have faith that you'll be able to figure out what pics go with what. ;)

My husband is an amazing Daddy. He's patient, fun, tolerant, and loving. We had a wonderful day at a zoo preceded by breakfast and presents. (Abby decorated his chair with crepe paper.)
For breakfast, I adapted Paula Deen's french toast casserole. I made this once before, but followed the recipe. I like my version much better. Sorry, Paula! I decreased the fat a lot, and really, it could be decreased much more and still be delicious.

For dessert I made a simple, but much loved Fruit Pizza. Seriously, this is the easier recipe ever. It's not even really a recipe! A roll of Pillsbury sugar cookie dough, a small container of cool-whip (use fat-free for less guilt), 8 oz. cream cheese (I use 1/3 less fat) and mixed fruit of choice. I just used strawberries. Let the cookie dough and cream cheese come to room temperature, let the cool whip sit in the fridge so it's no longer frozen.
Shape the cookie dough into one big cookie and bake. Blend cream cheese & cool whip (oh, I add a bit of confectioner's sugar and vanilla). Once cookie cools, spread cream cheese/cool whip combo on cookie. Layer the fruit. The end.

Father's Day Gift:
I made a pillow with some a little swatch I purchased from Spoonflower. It's a drawing Abby did of "Daddy."

French Toast Casserole (adapted from Paula Deen)
1 loaf of Italian bread
4 large eggs
2 cups of fat-free half and half
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp cinnamon
pinch of nutmeg
dash of salt
Praline topping (recipe follows)

Slice bread into 1-inch each. Arrange slices in 9 by 13-inch flat baking dish sprayed with Baker's Joy (or something similar). In a large bowl, combine the eggs, FF half-and-half, milk, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt and beat. Pour mixture over the bread slices, making sure all are covered evenly with the milk-egg mixture. Spoon some of the mixture in between the slices. Cover with foil and refrigerate overnight.

The next day, preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Spread Praline Topping evenly over the bread and bake for 40 minutes, until puffed and lightly golden. Serve with maple syrup.(I skip the maple syrup b/c it's sweet enough, IMO.)

Praline Topping
1 stick of butter (probably could use 1/2 stick)
1/2c packed brown sugar
2 tbsp light corn syrup
1/2 tsp cinnamon
pinch of nutmeg

Combine all ingredients & blend well.